But I would never avoid it.After all, just being dressed in black inch-mesh fishnets, held up bysuspenders from a black lacy basque, nipped hard at my waist, with mycock-clit barely covered by my pink g-string pouch and the string overmy divine snow white left cheek, while I tottered about on 8", platformheeled, "fuck-me" shoes, and nothing else, surely could not be causing it.And it couldn't be my long black hair, styled in "bunches" like "Abby" from NCIS, or my bright red lipstick and "Goth" make-up, or the scarletpolish on all my nails, hands and feet. The tats on my bubble buttcheeks that read "W" on both sides could not be blamed either.Yet as soon as I got out of my pick-up, dressed like this at 2am in the busy truck park, I attracted attention.WHY?I've been stoping here for ten years or more, so the cries of "Amanda's back" did not. How do you sleep?"I wondered all kinds of things about Jared. I wondered if he ever thought about me. I wondered if he missed me. I wondered if he had any regrets about the way he just threw our marriage away. If he had it to do all over again, would he have given me a second chance?Statistics say that most people are miserable after a divorce. I know that I am. But they say that even the people who wanted the divorces are unhappy. Eight out of ten of the people who go through a divorce say that if they had to do it again, they'd work harder to save their marriages. I wondered if Jared felt like that.More than anything else, I miss him at night and in the morning when I first wake up. I'm not just talking about sex, although the sex with Jared was amazing. More than anything else, I miss having that man lay down and wrap his arms around me and hold me through the night. Nothing else mattered when I was in his arms. The bills didn't matter, the job didn't matter, nothing did.Even on.
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